


When I'm Gone

by HunterMay18



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crying, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg, Sad, Sad Louis, Smut (maybe), Soldier Harry, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 12:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1817806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterMay18/pseuds/HunterMay18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're gonna miss me when i'm gone."</p>
<p>When tragedy strikes Harry has to go into the army and fight for their country. Louis didn't want him to go, not because he would miss him too much, but being that he's pregnant. With Harry gone he has to get through all the milestones with a child without him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue.

 

 

“BREAKING NEWS England is rallying up males between the ages of 18-24 to help fight off this war--” Louis shut off the television and he rubbed slightly at his swollen stomach. He sighed slightly, he knew that Harry would be one of those people and he didn’t like it one bit.

He walks into the kitchen and starts to make dinner for the two of them for when Harry gets home from work. He filled up the pot with water so by the time that he gets everything else set, the water would be boiled for the pasta to cook.

He goes into the fridge and gets out the chicken and spinach, he was making Harry’s favorite dish, Pesto Chicken Florentine. He gets a pan ready and chops up the chicken, then puts the pieces into the pan to cook. He washes the spinach and then Harry walks into the door.

“LOUIS, BABY I’M HOME!” Louis chuckles slightly and he feels a pair of arms wrap around him to come rest onto his stomach.

“Whatcha making?”

“Your favorite,” Louis spoke as he turned to the stove, with Harry still attached.

“Yummy, thanks baby.” Harry pressed a kiss to his cheek and rubbed at his stomach a bit before he walked off, probably to go get changed out of his work clothes.

Louis finished cooking dinner and they both ate together, with the occasional words here or there, until Harry brought up the one thing that Louis didn’t want to hear.

“So, did you hear about the recruitment?” Harry spoke quietly and all Louis did was hum as a response, “Do you have anything to say about it?” Louis shook his head.

And that was the last thing that was spoken the whole night. Louis walked into the room and cuddled himself under the fluffy blue covers, crying softly into the pillow. He was clutching his stomach, “Hey, little one, looks like it will probably be just us two for a bit while your Daddy goes to fight for our country.” He felt a slight kick against his palm and he cried harder.

Harry walks in and he instantly goes to comfort Louis. Louis grabs his hand and sets it right where the kicks were. They both cried happy tears and they were both ready to be parents together, but Louis wasn’t ready to be all along for however long Harry was going to be away for.


	2. Promises.

 

 

“Louis, please listen to me. It’s not my fault! I can’t stop this from happening, I could end up in jail if I go against the government.”

“Rather that than you risk your life and possibly never see our child!” Louis screamed, and Harry slumped, he was right. He would rather go to jail than the army, but he would be stuck in jail longer than the amount of time he would be stuck in the army.

“Louis, Louis, please I won’t ever try to put my life in danger.” Harry put his hands on Louis’ protruding stomach, “I want to be in our child’s life more than anything.”  
  
“But, why do you have to leave now? Why can’t it be in the 5 more months when the baby is supposed to come?” Louis finally looked up and Harry’s heart shattered as the tears were cascading down his husband’s face. He moved his hands to grasp his face and thumbs away the tears that he could catch.

“I’m sorry Louis, I really am. I’ll call when I can, write whenever and maybe even skype. We’ll make it work for however long we have to do it for.”

“Promise?” Louis blinked away the tears that were trying to escape his eyes.

“Louis, I promised you everything when we got married. I don’t think that I would change just because I’m doing this. I won’t ever let you down.”

Louis nods slightly and they both shared a kiss, the kiss was soft and mixed with the tears that were cascading down their faces.

“I love you, Harry.”

“I love you too, Louis,” Harry got down on his knees and pressed a kiss to Louis’ stomach, “And Daddy loves you, no matter what.” Just as Harry pressed his cheek, he felt a kick. He cried because he wasn’t going to be there to experience the rest of the pregnancy with his husband.

Harry got back up and he kissed Louis’ lips once more. He wiped away his tears and he picked up his suitcase and he was out the door. And well, Louis’ life crumbled before his eyes.

He fell asleep in the bed alone, he hasn’t fallen asleep alone in almost 10 years. He cried harder than ever and he knew that he had to calm down because it could hurt the baby, but he just wanted Harry back.


	3. Moving on, for now.

 

 

Louis woke up the next morning groggy with a pounding headache, he knew he shouldn’t have cried himself to sleep, but really what’s the point? He felt the space next to him and he panicked, but then remembered that Harry isn’t there. The tears came back and he put his hand up to his mouth as a broken sob filled the room. His other hand was rubbing at his stomach soothingly, where the little one inside was kicking crazy.

He went for his phone, and he finger hovered over the call button on a few of his friends, but then he remembered that everyone of them had went off to fight as well. He sighed before he got to the one person who could help him.

He wiped away his tears as the phone rang a few times before a familiar voice rang through his ears, “Louis? You okay? Everything okay with the baby?”

“Mum, everything is fine,” “Okay, okay good. So, you don’t usually call this early.”

Louis shrugged, even though his mother couldn’t see it, “I-I just miss him so much, mum. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to make it for however long he’s going to be gone,” He spoke out and a few tears trickled down his face.

“Sweetie, I know everything is going to be different, but he’s still here with you in spirit-” “You’re acting like he’s dead.”   
  
“You know what I’m trying to say. Just, why don’t you come stay with us, just until the baby is born and you get settled, okay?”

“I really don’t know how I’ll feel about it. I mean, like I already haven’t gotten enough sleep, and with you just having twins.”  
  
“Honey, they are already a few months old, they’re not that noisy anymore.”

“Fine, fine. But, I’d still need to come check up on the house every now and again.”

“Of course and with you being here you can get practice. It’ll be good for you, okay?” Louis thought about it for a second, if his mother could raise twins on her own, then it shouldn’t be a problem with him raising one by himself for a bit.

“Okay, but could you come get me, I’m too big to get behind the wheel.”

“Yes, yes of course. I’ll be there in an hour, okay?” Louis said his goodbye and tossed his phone on the bed. He groaned before running his hands through his hair, making a mental note to shower when he gets to his mother’s home. He rolls out of bed and grabs one of the suitcases to start packing. He gets finished with just his clothes when the doorbell goes off, he zips up the suitcase and goes to get the door.

“Hey mum,” He hugs her the best he can without his stomach getting in the way.

“So, how much do you have to pack?”

“Well, I did my clothes and was about to do the baby stuff that we had when you got here.”

“Okay, just let me set the twins in the living room and I’ll come and help you.” Louis grabbed one of the twins, Brian-the other was Joy, and set them on the floor before leading his mother to the nursery. They decided to just pack the diapers and a bunch of the babies clothing, knowing that Louis would still need the crib there for when he returns back.

After they took a break to eat, Louis also making a mental note to bring the food with them, so he found a cooler to do just that. His mother even told him to call the electric, cable, and water company to turn off the utilities for the time being, just until he comes back so he doesn’t have to worry about him losing money.

He got everything into the car and he locked the doors making his way to his mother’s car. He turns back around and looks at the house once more before they are pulling off into the street. And all that Louis thought was, please Harry come back in one piece.


	4. Injured.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not edited, will edit when complete.

 

 

His mother helped him settle in, and he still felt weird. Not like he loves being back in his childhood home, but the fact that he doesn’t have his Harry. He was laying down on his bed, looking through old photographs from when him and Harry had first gotten together.

He flips through to find the picture of when they shared their first kiss, it was Christmas Eve to be exact, when they got caught underneath the mistletoe. Lou’s mother took the picture at the right time, she actually was the one who gave them the book for Christmas a few years back. Every year they add more to the book, the most recent photo was of Harry kissing Lou’s pregnant belly, taken a month before he left.

He runs his hands over it and smiles, Harry may not be here for their first child, but he’ll make sure that he’ll be there for the others. He closes the book and sets it on the side table before arching his back to release some pressure in his spine.

Louis looked to the clock and wondered what Harry might be doing right now.

 

**

 

“Harry, it’s dangerous out there!” Zayn screamed at him, there were bullets flying everywhere, ricocheting off the metal that it would hit.

“Zayn, Niall is out there all alone, if we don’t go and find him we may lose him forever!”

“Harry,” Zayn grabbed his shoulders, looking straight into his watering eyes, “He’s not alone, he has Liam. God knows that man will not let his baby die.”

Harry nods, “But, what do we do now?”

Zayn looked around and noticed all the wounded soldiers, “Why don’t we get the wounded to a safe place until the nurses can come and heal them. Then we will radio Liam if we don’t hear from them by the time we’re finished, okay?”

Harry just nodded, and followed Zayn. They were careful with the flying bullets, one did happen to graze Harry’s arm, but it wasn’t bleeding too much. He just went on and continued to bring the soldiers to safety. Just as they pulled in the last soldier, they heard a scream, “HELP, SOMEONE HELP!”

Harry’s head snapped up, they knew that voice, it was Liam. Harry ran out and saw Liam carrying a lifeless Niall.

 

**

 

Louis decided to calm himself down with a bubble bath, those always used to calm him down, other than the fact that his back was killing him. He went through the bottles of the scented bubble bath his mother had, and his eyes landed on green apples & vanilla. It was his favorite scent combined with Harry’s favorite scent. 

He smiled softly and turned on the water, he waited for the water to fill up before he poured two caps full of it into the warm water. He turned the water off once there was enough, and he slipped off his clothes. He peered down to his protruding belly, sighing softly that he can’t see his feet anymore, and felt a soft kick.

“Baby, ready for some relaxation?” He spoke softly to the little one inside his stomach, he earned a kick in response. He carefully climbed into the tub, and carefully set himself down. He moaned softly as his tense muscles were starting to get a release. He sat there for a few more minutes and the thought came upon him, how was he going to get out of the tub? He really should have thought about this before he got in.

He washed up a bit and decided to call for his mom, “MUM! CAN YOU HELP ME?!”

His mother came into the bathroom quickly, “Everything all right?” She spoke worriedly.

“As you can see I wanted a bubble bath, but I never thought about how I would get out. So, could you help me?”

She chuckled before rolling up her pants and putting one foot into the bath and the other on the towel. She put her arms under his armpits and as she pulled up, he pushed off on the edge of the tub. It may have taken them a few tries, but he was soon standing up, and rinsing off the soap.

“Thank you mum,” He mumbled.

“No problem, just next time let me know and then I’ll know what to expect when you call up for me. Okay?” 

“Alright.” She kissed his forehead before venturing on down the stairs to finish up dinner. Louis sighed, “this would have been easier if Harry was here”, he thought before he wrapped a towel around himself.

 

**

 

“Harry, don’t you dare freak out. He’s still alive, he just hit his head really hard, it knocked him out.” Harry led Liam into the safety building with the others and motioned for him to set Niall down on the ground. Harry noticed that Niall’s chest was still rising, so that was a good sign.

“MEDICAL TEAM HERE, IS THERE ANYONE INJURED?!” A yell bellowed through the walls of the almost destroyed building.

Zayn ran out the building and motioned for them in here, “So, we organized them by severeness. Only one person can’t walk because he was shot in his leg, the others were in their arms. We have one head injury, but he didn’t get shot, he somehow hit his head hard enough to knock him unconscious.”

The one who seemed like the head nurse told the others where they should go, “Now, get me to the head injury,” She spoke quickly and Zayn led her over to his best friend. She got down to the floor and started to take his vitals, “Okay, so everything is good, nothing wrong him.” She reaches into the kit and pulls out a vial of something. She unscrews the cap and waves it in front of Niall’s nose, he jumps up only to hold his head groaning.

“Smelling salts, it does wonders with waking people up.” She put the vital back into the kit before motioning for him to sit up. She grabs the flashlight and has him move with her finger, and some other sorts of tests. “Alright, so I’m not sure how severe, but if you got knocked out for this long, then you have a severe concussion. You are not able to continue duty for quite some time, so you’re coming back to the base with the others, and then we’ll get you to a hospital for further procedure.”

Niall nodded and looked to the rest, “I know what you’re thinking, don’t worry about us. You worry about getting better.”

Niall sighed, “I’m sorry that I won’t be here to help you.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Liam spoke as he ruffled Niall’s hair softly.

“Just think you’ll be home and you can help Louis, okay?” Harry choked a bit, he wished that he was the one that could be there for him, but Niall is the second best thing.

“I will do my best, you have my word.” They all hugged it out and Niall was soon carried out of the building, leaving them for the time being.

 

**

 

It’s only been a week since Harry has left and it feels like it’s been much longer. Louis was eating soup in the living room when there was a knock on the door, “Mum, were you expecting someone?” He asked as he carefully set his bowl on the table and got up to get the door. 

His mother emerging from the kitchen, “No, not that I recall.”

Louis looked at his mother with pleading eyes, he reaches for the door with trembling hands. He opens it up and his eyes go wide, “Niall?”


	5. Look after Lou.

 

 

“Hey Louis, can I come in?” Niall asked quietly, hoping that he would let him explain why he was on the doorstep and not with Harry.

Louis placed a hand on his stomach and let Niall inside. He led him to the living room and motioned for him to sit down. Louis sat down and placed his legs on Niall’s lap, smiling slightly.

“So, you’re probably wondering why I am here and not with Harry,” Louis nodded in response. “I was hit in the head so hard that it knocked me unconscious. The head doctor said that I’ve gotten a severe concussion and that I cannot go back into battle for a while. I’m going to a doctor tomorrow and they’ll have my actual diagnosis and if I am able to go back into battle.”

Louis’ eyes water, “How’s Harry?” he mumbled as he rubbed at his swollen stomach, smiling softly when it kicked. He grabbed Niall’s hand and placed it over the same place.

Niall smiled wide, “He’s good, actually told me to look after you during the rest of the pregnancy.”

Louis nodded, “Of course he would have said that."

Niall chuckled, “I would have done if whether he asked me or not.”

Louis smiled, “So, I have an appointment tomorrow, I haven’t decided to find out the sex of the baby yet. Should I?”

Niall looked up at him and moved his hand, “Louis, that’s your decision, don’t ask me about that.”

Louis sighed, “I don’t know Niall, like it’s something that Harry and I still hadn’t figured out. I just don’t want to make this decision without him.”

“Then put that in your next letter, ask Harry if he wants to know the sex of the baby.”

Louis smiled, “That’s the greatest idea, I’m sure I can hold off until the next appointment.” Louis took out a piece of paper and got to writing.

 

_Harry,_

_Hey baby, hope everything is getting better. Niall is here with me and hasn't left my side since he's got here a few hours ago. But, I don't mind because I miss the company of anyone other than my mum (but don't tell her that.)_

_So, I can find out about the sex of the baby now, but should I? I know we talked about it, but never really said yes or no. Niall told me to ask you in this letter, so yeah...here I am. Should I do it?_

_I love and miss you baby._

_Love,_

_Lou xx._

 

"Sounds perfect Lou," Niall said as he read the letter over before he put it into an envelope and post marked it. "I'll go to the post office to drop this off, need anything at the store?"

Louis thought for a second, "Can I come with you? I've been craving things and I'm not sure what I want more at this point."

Niall nodded, "Of course, let's get going." 

Louis smiled, "Finally, I can get out of the house." 

Niall chuckled and helped Louis into his shoes and even into the car. 

 

**

 

Once they got to the store, Louis grabbed different types of chocolate and ice cream. He didn't only just get junk food, he went into the organic foods section and grabbed some almond milk and other sorts of snacks that could help him get through the pregnacy and not gain too much weight.

Niall chuckled, "Stocking up for the winter, Lou?"

Louis turned around and glared, "I just haven't been out of the house much since Harry left and all my mum has been buying is junk that I can't eat too much of. So, which is why I'm stocking up on stuff that I always love to eat."

Niall nodded, "Alright, but you better share."

Louis shook his head, "Never come between a hormonal pregnant person and their chocolate." 

Niall sighed and held his hands up in defense, "Fine, I'll get my own then."

Louis grabbed his arm, "Love, I'm kidding, I'll share." Niall relaxed and just placed some more things into the cart before they went up to pay for everything. 

Once they got home, Louis went to his room for a nap while Niall looked after the twins so Jay should take a shower. Niall sighed happily, he hoped he didn't have to go back in combat, he didn't want to go back. Just in case something were to happen to Harry, he could be there to help Louis. After all, Harry did tell him to look after Lou for him, its the least he could do.


	6. Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the long wait...

 

 

 

Louis sent out the letter, he waited and waited for a response. I wanted to ask Harry if he wanted to know the sex of the baby, but he sent out the letter almost two weeks ago and his appointment is in three days. He really hoped that Harry would get back to him.

Across the world, Harry was training alongside his friends, trying to build up the muscle that they would need to have when they have to carry all of the equipment in the field.

"Fuck, when do we even get a break?" Zayn groaned as he fell to the ground, not caring that he was covered in mud.

"Sun down, and it's only midday," Liam spoke, handing everyone a water bottle to drink so they wouldn't dehydrate.

"Ohh Harry, Niall had sent me a letter, something about Louis wanting to know if you wanted to know what the sex of the baby or something.

"I got the letter, I just haven't had the time to answer and now if I answer now, it won't get there in time for his appointment."

"That's why you should have immediately sent him a letter back, but good thing I remember talking about it so I told Niall the situation, so you're all good."

"What did you tell him exactly?"

"To tell Louis that his husband is being annoying and that he does want to know the sex of the baby. And that he loves him dearly, can't wait to hold him... all that mushy stuff you two always write."

"And you would know that how?" Harry quirked an eyebrow at Zayn.

"Niall helps Louis write his responses, and then in return Niall makes fun of the mushy stuff you two always write about."

Harry pouted, "That was private!"

"Not anymore it wasn't," Liam started laughing, "I'm actually curious as to what they even talk about now."

Harry groaned and fell back on the ground, "This is going to be a very long day."

**

"Hello, Louis, how's everything going?" The doctor greeted him as she stepped into the room, smiling at Niall who was standing next to him, "And who's this?"

"One of my very best mates, he was deployed with my husband, but was discharged from an injury."

She nodded, "Well, thank you for your service, and it's very nice to meet you. I'm Doctor Sullivan, by the way. So, before we get to looking at your baby, any questions?"

Louis shook his head, "Nope, there isn't."

"Alright, then if you would let me do some measurements on your belly and your weight, we can see about the sex of the baby." Louis nodded, letting the doctor do what she had to do, until she told them to follow her into the the room so he can finally find out the sex of the baby.

"So, would you want to know the sex of the baby?" She asked as she already managed to get the image of the baby on the screen."

"Yes please, if you can." Louis was looking at the screen, his eyes were already glassy, he just wished that Harry was here with him.

She nodded and she looked around, "Here's your baby's heartbeat, it's a very healthy one if I might add," She moved the wand around and a loud beat filled the speakers.

Louis smiled and a tear escaped his eye, "My baby."

"Alright, and if my calculations are correct, it's a little girl."

"A girl, my baby is a girl?"

The doctor nodded, "She's in the perfect position to see that she doesn't have a penis. So congratulations Louis." She took a few pictures and printed them. "I'll see you back in two weeks, call me if you need anything." She handed him a paper towel and he wiped off his stomach.

Niall helped him out to the car and Louis couldn't stop looking at the photograph in his hand. He got home and his mother was already waiting for him.

"So, what's the verdict?"

Louis smiled, "You're going to be a grandmummy to a beautiful little girl."


End file.
